Category: Dr. Newitol
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Dr Newitol – Why The Horners Are Horny For War
161. Ferej from Asagale, Southern Red Sea, Eritrea: The last time we heard from you was in November 2022 before South Africa. Since then, Abiy, referencing some warlord, made a feeble attempt at claiming the capital of my region, Assab, but you were never to be found. My question is: why are the citizens of…
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Dr Newitol – War & Carnage Edition
151: Tura Mantusa from Durame, Kambata: Hi Dr Newitol! Are you an actual doctor who heals people or do you have one of those degrees that tells us you have gotten a credential about something you have no idea about, like a doctorate in conflict-resolution, which doesn’t resolve conflicts? Dr Newitol: Ah, it’s going to…
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Dr. Newitol: The Search For Foolish Consistency
131. Gifti Abajobir from Beshaha, Jimma Ethiopia asks: Hi Dr. Newitol. I have a serious question and I hope you won’t give me a smart-alec answer: why is Eritrea president Isaias Afwerki in my city? Why does he keep traveling to Ethiopia: is it the only country that can give him an entry visa? Does…
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Dr Newitol: The Stoppage Time Edition
Dr. Newitol is a composite of three characters, one of whom is the editor. He takes questions from Horn Africans (yes, it is a thing now) and pretends to give answers. Dr. Newitol is now so popular, so big, he inexplicably disappears and reappears. 120: HamedAdem from Ambori, Gash Barka asks: Wo Dr. Newitol, welcome…
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Dr. Newitol: So Big It’s Sponsored
Dr. Newitol is a composite of three characters, one of whom is the editor. He takes questions from Horn Africans (yes, it is a thing now) and pretends to give answers. Dr. Newitol is now so popular, so big, it is sponsored. This edition is brought to you by “Senhit Dental” (slogan: we take any…
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Dr Newitol’s Readers Are Tired of Ethiopia
91. Awadallah from Gedaref, Sudan writes: I am told you don’t always talk about Ethiopia and sometimes you mention other countries. My question: Now that it is a given we have defeated Omar Albashir, where will he go? Qatar? Turkey? Malaysia? Dr. Newitol: My bet is on Ethiopia. Sure Qatar and Turkey make ideological sense,…
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Dr. Newitol Is Tired of Your Statue Questions
81.This is Fenkel from Massawa again. The last time I asked you “Will Isaias Afwerki ignore this battle (Operation Fenkil) I am named after because he doesn’t want to offend his new best friends, the remnants and sympathizers of Mengistu Hailemariam you told me, “all you have to do is wait for two weeks to…
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Dr Newitol Tries, and Fails, to be Empathetic (71-80)
71. Shewainesh from MnewShewa asks: The Ethiopian Federal Government perp-walked Bereket Simon, former advisor to the PM, ANDM official, TIRET board Chair to Bahr Dar. What is going on? Dr Newitol: That is not the most dramatic part! First of all, it is not just Bereket Simon but also Tinkishu. The National Enquirer part of…
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Dr. Newitol: Party of 100 Million? Your Ports Are Ready (61-70)
Dr Newitol is a composite of well-informed Ethiopians and Eritreans whose brains the editor picks… 61. Faytinga from Omhajjer asks: When do you think they will open the Omhajjer-Humera border? Dr. Newitol: According to the information I have, it appears that the border point is next in line to…. 62. Faytinga from Mai Kedra interrupts:…
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Dr Newitol Is Here To Complicate You: 51-60
51. Gebretsadkan from Mekele asks: I am not in a video game arcade or the jungle but I keep hearing “Game Over” and “hyenas” a lot. Any suggestions? Dr. Newitol: Don’t forget “thugs” although Habesha don’t know how to say even that and say “tugs.” In the US, the police use that word a lot…
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Dr Newitol Sets You Straight: 41-50
Q41: Abraham from Mekele: I am very curious about tall, handsome Abraham the son of Isaias Afwerki. I haven’t seen him since he represented his country to Saudi Arabia. Is he frozen already? Dr Newitol: Abraham Isaias Afwerki? What happened to His Excellency that you mntl his name? He is visiting Mekele accompanied by General…
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Dr. Newitol Is Here To Add To Your Confusion: (21-30)
21. Curious from Hmeret Kelboy asks, ” why did Eritrea and Ethiopia sign their peace agreements 3 times? Dr. Newitol: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, now, go, cat, go. The one signed in Eritrea was for the money (from UAE to Ethiopia.) The one signed in Abu-Dhabi was…