81.This is Fenkel from Massawa again. The last time I asked you “Will Isaias Afwerki ignore this battle (Operation Fenkil) I am named after because he doesn’t want to offend his new best friends, the remnants and sympathizers of Mengistu Hailemariam you told me, “all you have to do is wait for two weeks to find out.” Well?
Dr. Newitol: “Well?” back at you buddy. Did you, did you enjoy the show? Did you enjoy the show?
82. Anker from Adi Berbere writes: I don’t follow Eritrea or Ethiopia news very closely but I heard people said there was some offensive statue erected somewhere in Addis Abeba? What are they talking about?
Dr. Newitol: I wouldn’t say they were erected; they were found erected and they are called the Megalith:
83. Abeje Ergete from Tikil Dingay writes: I read some jealous Eritreans making fun of the uniform of Ethiopia’s armed forces, specially the red beret they wear which they call raspberry beret. Do you have the address of the Ethiopian National Armed Forces so I can compliment them for their excellent taste?
Dr. Newitol: I wish you had written me a week ago because, guess what? The Ethiopian Armed Forces is changing its uniform! It turns out that the uniform is “compromised” because too many people are using it and impersonating themselves as soldiers. If you are thinking this makes no sense at all, the joke is on you because they have hired a counterfeit consultant from the Commercial Bank of Ethiopia.
84. Suleiman from Selelo asks: Why was the president of Guinee (Guinea), Alpha Conde in Massawa? Did Eritrea get some secret stash of weapons for its decisive Operation Fenkil and he was there to celebrate?
Dr. Newitol: No, not at all. A few African countries are creating a “Coalition of Tiny States” so they can have their voices heard at the African Union. That’s why he was there. Remember when you took French classes and you flunked it because you said “when will I ever need this?” It would have helped you now: here’s Guinee TV, all cued up for you to the minute mark, but it is in French.
A better question is: who is the diplomatic genius who made this happen? Was it Foreign Minister Osman Saleh? Was it political maestro Yemane Gebreab? No, and no. It was none other than this guy, at least according to his own tweet:
85. Msrar from Himbirti shouts: You misunderstood Anker from Adi Berbere! When he was talking about statues he was talking about the Haileselasse statues not your sick megadeth!
Dr. Newitol: Megalith, not megadeth, although Megadeth is a fine heavy metal band. I didn’t get your question but if it is “what would His Majesty think of the statue if he were alive?” I think I know. In 1955, they built a statue of a lion to mark his silver jubilee and His Majesty told the artist “ምንም እንኳ ፈጽሞ ኣንበሳ ባይመስል ለሃሳብዎ እናደንቃለን.” (Although he looks nothing like a lion, we thank you for your consideration.)
I am sure he would now say ምንም እንኳ ፈጽሞ ለኛ ባይመስል ለሃሳብዎ እናደንቃለን. (Although he looks nothing like us, we admire your plan.) The sculptor, Bekele Mekonnen, must have been using a photo from the emperor’s exile years when he was humbled, not the majestic ones you find at any Ethiopian restaurant in the US.
Anyway, people need to lay off Bekele Mekonnen: it is not like he built a statue to Egyptian football sensation Mohammed Saleh which looks like this:
86. Abitew Bayew from Enesena enebse writes: I have a question about the road from Massawa to the Ethiopian border that the EU is rehabilitating with its 20 million Euro donation. I am hoping this is what they have in mind if they are serious about #GameOver!
Dr. Newitol: Sigh. NO. It is going to go the traditional route Massawa-Asmara-Senafe or Massawa-Asmara-Adiquala. Remember the 20 million Euro is to pave roads INSIDE Eritrea. And it is coming from the EU Trust Fund for Africa, which is Europe’s slush fund for African dictators. There will be no road-paving: it is a reward for President Isaias and “to support Eritrea and Ethiopia in delivering their historic peace agreement.” Isaias has already instructed the EU Trust Fund for Africa to reach out to Nevsun for wiring instructions to his private account.
87. Dini from Obock, Djibouti writes: We feel really left out with all the hugging and kissing going on in the Horn of Africa. On top of that, we are hearing now that President Isaias Afwerki wants to move IGAD, based in Djibouti, anywhere else. And if he can’t, he wants to break it. Why?
Dr. Newitol: You are not alone: have you seen the cold shoulder Albashir got in Addis? Anyway, if you are wondering why you are left out, why don’t you ask the French? Or the Americans. Or the Chinese. Or the Turks. I mean, pick a side, will ya? Can’t have a shehan fool in your country without running into ten spies. Also, you might consider donating to the Isaias Afwerki Trust Fund by pledging to build a road between Djibouti and Asab. The Ethiopians are doing that: they are “rehabilitating” a road between Asab and Bure at their expense:
88. Endris Yimmer from Kombolcha asks: My friend and I have a bet. In this picture, what message is Abiy Ahmed communicating with that pose and by holding a brochure with a picture of His Majesty pointing to the camera?
Dr. Newitol: I have asked my good friend John Bolton what message he was trying to communicate with this and I saw his moustache move. So, there is your answer.
89. Khelifa from Ad Kukuy asks: As you may know, we Eritreans have a hate-hate relationship with the African Union. I understand they had a meeting in Addis Abeba? What did they do besides inaugurate a statue to the man who razed my village and exiled most of Western Eritrea where they have been refugees for 3 generations in Eastern Sudan?
Dr. Newitol: A lot of things! Well, they called for and resolved to do a lot of things. First the rotating chair: Egypt will have it in 2020. Conference on Libya reconciliation. Demanded that the UN give Africa two permanent seats and five non-permanent seats. Loan forgiveness for Somalia. Declared that 2019 is THE YEAR OF REFUGEES, RETURNEES AND INTERNALLY DISPLACED PERSONS. (They didn’t discuss that they are responsible for it, though. Maybe next year.) Your president wasn’t there but he was ably represented by this young man with poise and gravitas:
90. Miriam from Adi Mereta writes: Oh my God! You men are so infuriating! This is the third time you are being asked: Is it normal for people to build a statue to someone who created havoc and destroyed generations of Eritreans?
90: Dr. Newitol: It wouldn’t be normal to do it in Eritrea. Why is it Eritreans have nothing to say about statues or lack of them in Eritrea but have strong opinions about statues in other countries? You guys spend more time talking about statues than statutes. I have a solution: put this video on a loop and watch it over and over: you will have peace.
