131. Gifti Abajobir from Beshaha, Jimma Ethiopia asks: Hi Dr. Newitol. I have a serious question and I hope you won’t give me a smart-alec answer: why is Eritrea president Isaias Afwerki in my city? Why does he keep traveling to Ethiopia: is it the only country that can give him an entry visa? Does he not have a secure phone line to discuss business with my Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed?
Dr. Newitol: Politicians are under intense pressure not to take vacations when their job is so stressful and sometimes they deserve a vacation. So until your whole Habesha culture makes peace with the idea of vacation, politicians will keep calling it a “working visit.” The other reason is that he had promised his old friend Meles Zenawi that he would check on the progress of his projects like Gibe 3 and GERD. To those of you who are scratching your head and asking didn’t he call all these projects “white elephant projects”, in the words of the Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” Think big, be inconsistent.
https://twitter.com/NebiyuTedla/status/1315301258648059904?s=20
As for “why Jimma?”, it is one of the few places in Ethiopia where Abiy Ahmed is 100% sure people won’t throw tomatoes at him and can feel perfectly safe in his hometown. Well, as safe as someone with a bullet-proof vest wearing man would:
132. Semhar from SelaE DaEro, Maekel Eritrea asks: Since you claim to know it all, is there any country that, on a per capita basis, has lost as many lives, as many limbs, as many liberties, as Eritrea has in the last 60 years?
Dr. Newitol: Russia, from 1917 to 1991? China, from 1943 to now? Khmer Rouge, 1975-79? North Korea, 1948-present? Equally tragic is that while all the suffering in other countries gave us The Gulag Archipelago and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn; end of poverty and Alibaba; Cambodia’s Vatey Seng, North Korea’s ICBMS that need 22-wheel trucks to carry them, you guys have nothing to show for your agony. Not a thing. But, while your liberties are gone, your dignity is not all gone: unlike North Korea, you are not ruled by Afewerki Dynasty. Yet. I see Abraham Isaias Afwerki making appearances whenever Abiy visits; if/when he assumes power, then you can break the “Now Let’s Panic” glass.
133. Suleiman from Serde, Ayromale, Foro, Eritrea asks: Does the Eritrean opposition have any plans to remove Isaias Afwerki from power or, is it, like my pregnant sister Feruz, just counting the days until she delivers?
Dr. Newitol: It is doing the tiresome task of organizing multi-denominational, multi-faith, multi-ethnic days of doing something. Except that it doesn’t always succeed at organizing or multi-anything or doing something. It’s called tiresome for a reason; it is tiring. But they have sizable roadmaps on what happens after the faux-justice PFDJ falls.
134:ጠንክር በርታ from እነሞር ጉራጌ የም ዞን: ኢትዮፕያ in da house: ‘Sup ma Newi! So listen up: I am actually in DC, from DC, whateva! So, yo, listen up: did you catch Letesenbet flying?
Dr. Newitol: No I haven’t, nobody has and that’s why they call it a record, and stop talking like Yo MTV Raps 1990s dude. “Wherever you are in the world, even though she won’t hear you, give a shout out to the TV, give a roar, because this young 22 year old from Ethiopia, is 400 meters away from glory.” Poetic words, and I didn’t write them. This man, blown away by Lesenbet Gidey on path to break a world record, did that:
135. Hamed Asli from Asfeda, Ad Dawood, Haykota, Eritrea: What is behind the Abiy-Ahmed/TPLF feud, since they both served in the same EPRDF? What is happening there, who is winning, who is losing: I want to know!
Dr. Newitol: In passing, let me say this: Eritreans, pro-government or opposition, spend more time on this than the rest of Ethiopia. Where to start the story…. let’s start from 1998-2000 during the Badme Wars, when Colonel Abiy Ahmed told all his colleagues that when he becomes Prime Minister he will not leave them behind and….
https://www.facebook.com/812142715/posts/10158847270782716/?sfnsn=wa
Hamed Asli from Asfeda, Ad Dawood, Hykota, Eritrea: Ya Lateef: can you give me the shorter version?
Dr. Newitol: It’s the noblest fight: ideological. The TPLF is against poverty (slogan: “Enrich the party to enrich the people”) whereas Abiy is for prosperity (slogan: “well, not with that attitude you won’t prosper!”) So the delegitimizing campaign by each against each was a staring contest to see who would blink first: the Poverty-Fighter (emphasis on fight) or the Prosperity Willer (emphasis on willing) and, in the end, a woman with the campy title of Minister of Peace came up to order truce. But in the background they are still huffing:
“After October 12, you have no legitimacy over the federal government.”
“No, no, it is you who has no legitimacy because the election you had in Tigray was illegitimate….I am going to de-fund you”…
“Oh that would be war!….”
“Ok, I will funnel the money not to YOU. But to those who report to you! How does THAT make you feel?”
“Um… I just had an election with 98% win, so I kinda feel good about that… ”
And so goes the dance, in the game that is never over.
136. መሐመድ ማንተጋፍቶት from አረብ ገንዳ ደሴ ኢትዮፕያ: Subhan Allah. Masha Allah! I just heard from FANA TV Jazakum Allahu Khairan! that they are going to introduce an Arabic, Masha Allah, program once a day. Everyday! Subhan Allah! Is it true, inshallah it is true?
Dr Newitol: Don’t tell the Agazian Nation but it appears to be the case. I saw them cut a cake so it must be true. In passing, I don’t know who is more excitable: Muslims when they learn a non-Arab is fluent in Arabic, or Amhara when they hear a non-Amhara speak fluent Amharic. As we explained in previous edition, FANA TV is FAbiNA TV, and Abi, despite generous (and reasonably priced) offers from Isaias Afwerki to teach him Arabic (“if you can speak Amharic you can speak Arabic”), he doesn’t speak it. (“It is not a supply input nor an output to Prosperity, so what’s the point?”) Thus, this operation (dubbed “Operation Gemal Abdelnaser 180”) was conceived to influence the Arabs and to elate the Mohammed Mantegaftots of the world. But, basically, if he spoke Arabic, there would be no need for this channel. Just like there is no English program at Fana: because he can speak that.
137: Menkemay from Menekuseito, Senafe, Eritrea: It has been months since I heard any news of Eritrea. I visit places like this, and all they talk about is Abiy and Ethiopia. So what’s going on? Has the State, as Friedrich Engels predicted, withered away? And been replaced by the Isaias Pulse? When he is awake, it exists and when is asleep it de-exists?
Dr. Newitol: COVID-19 has played havoc with the PFDJ Propaganda timetable. Eritrea’s life revolves around party holidays. February is Operation Fenkil (Massawa liberation) month; March is Women’s Day (month, actually; just another month, a women-issues-free-month); May is independence day (month); June is Martyr’s Day (month), July-August were the Expo Days (damn you COVID-19), September is Launching of Armed Struggle For Freedom Day (month); September is also Sawa Inn Road to Indefinite Serfdom month. It is also Geez Calendar Day month (9/11-12), which in every single way except its name is the New Ethiopian Year, the same saint, the same season, the same legend of Enqutatash. Then nothing happens. Nothing to celebrate, unless the lunar-calendar-based Ramadan & Eids make an appearance. Until New Year celebration. So you are in the twilight zone, between the official holidays, because even governments cant’s stretch 7 days into a year. It’s between these timetables, when Isaias goes absent without leave (awol) that the Eritrean opposition makes another untimely announcement of the expiration of Isaias. Because he is sighted only in holidays. Or when he goes to Addis, like now.
138.ማንከልክሎሽ ይታዘዙ from እንጅባራ አገው ዞን Ethiopia (no kidding) asks: I saw our Prime Minister, may the Almighty extend his health, at the new Entoto Park where he helped our fire-wood collecting mothers? Bless him, bless that child. Now what is this about him riding a boy’s teshkerkari! Let him, he is young at heart! He likes anything that has wheels: bicycles, go-karts, SUV. How did he help these mothers?
Dr. Newitol: Ah, the Entoto Mothers. So these are some of the daily reminders of Ethiopian poverty: ladies going to the forest to fetch firewood and carrying them on their back to sell them in the city. This was an affront to the One Ethiopia, the anti-poverty (EPRDF) and pro-prosperity (Prosperity Party) gang so the latter, now in charge, made a revolutionary change. In the parlance of the Prosperity Party, these ladies are now “input suppliers” (economists to Abiy: that phrase does not mean what you think it means) and they will be providing injera to the restaurants that will pop up in the Entoto area so Addis yuppies can feel good about helping the poor. Well, yeah, the mothers will still bake injera all day, but now we don’t have to see them blight our African capital city carrying huge loads of firewood.
The strong women of Entoto returning home from their new jobs. Through the Entoto project, hundreds have been trained and organized to engage as input suppliers for business in the new park. Transformation entails lifting others in the process. pic.twitter.com/NMTzAYSBWH
— Abiy Ahmed Ali 🇪🇹 (@AbiyAhmedAli) October 2, 2020
139. This is Warya from Wajale, Somaliland (not Somalia!): Selam Dr.NoWit! I wonder if you can take a break from your Ethiopia obsession to tell us why the president of neighboring Somalia, Mohammed Formajio, was in Eritrea?
Dr. Newitol: They were having “bilateral discussions” on issues that are of interest to the two countries and the region. You don’t like that? So, actually, he was in Eritrea because Isaias Afwerki is building for him a Republican Guard (all from one clan, but hey, he didn’t make the rules) to protect Somalia from people that Isaias spent over a decade supporting: Alshabab, Islamist, etc. (Don’t scratch your head: think of what Ralph Waldo Emerson said.) Actually, Eritrea is so small for Isaias, the African Union should create a special portfolio for him as the “Guardian of Colonial Treaties.” Isaias believes in nothing except for the sanctity of colonial borders, unless it no longer serves his purpose (Russia owns Crimea.) And after that, he is coming after you Somalilanders because he is still mad at South Sudan separating from Sudan, never mind accepting Somaliland splitting from Somalia. In any event, the Isaias-Formajio, Isaias-Abiy meetings are sideshows: the real action is with their intel officers meeting:
https://twitter.com/adancabdulle/status/1316035392479596544?s=20
140. This is Wasim from Wad Madani, Sudan: Aloo, Dr Newi Hol! What time is it where you are: I hope I didn’t wake you. Alooo? I don’t know if you follow Arab News, but there is now a race between the Gulf Arab countries, who have included my country, to see who can make peace with the Zionist State first. What is happening here?
Dr. Newitol: Are you opposed to making peace? You want to give war a chance, for another 60 years? Your Prime Minister said he doesn’t have the mandate to make peace with Israel that but then your Sovereign Leader said, “hold my camel milk” and said he has the mandate. So, if you want your country to be removed from terror-sponsoring states, you will do as you are told. I would recommend you have more conversation with Isaias Afwerki who will show you how to present your new stand as one that has been consistent with your beliefs for decades. Side benefit is you no longer have to drink Pepsi but, like the rest of the world, drink a beverage from the company you have boycotted for decades: Coca Cola. Nothing is worth drinking Pepsi for.
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