91. Awadallah from Gedaref, Sudan writes: I am told you don’t always talk about Ethiopia and sometimes you mention other countries. My question: Now that it is a given we have defeated Omar Albashir, where will he go? Qatar? Turkey? Malaysia?
Dr. Newitol: My bet is on Ethiopia. Sure Qatar and Turkey make ideological sense, but he, a black man, would have to live. there. forever. Malaysia makes financial sense, because that’s where he has most of his looted money but same problem: an African needs his Africa. So, I say his camp will be in Asosa, Ethiopia. He has a farm there and can check on his investment with his TPLF buddies.
92. Weldedawit from Una Watot, Eritrea asks: could you ask your Ethiopian friends (assuming you are not one): why did they show so much disrespect to our legendary musicians when they were touring their country?
Dr. Newitol: I don’t understand what you mean; it was a sold-out show and I have the pictures to prove it:
Wait. Let me check. It appears I have my files confused: that was 24 hours after the Eritrean musicians left and Teddy Afro took the stage singing about Girmanwitachew (Haileselasse) and the kids with the 17-needle patched up shorts (Weyane.)
Here are the concerts, clockwise, in Addis, Awasa, Bahir Dar and Adama:
Typically, people-to-people works of art are done BEFORE government-to-government peace agreements. And it would have helped if they co-ordinated with Ethiopian musicians, instead of politicians, so it didn’t look like a City Hall meeting. So don’t blame Ethiopians for your poor planning.
93. Fatuma calls from Kebri Dahar, Ethiopian Somalia: I attended a public meeting with Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed today. I was hoping….
Dr. Newitol: I am sorry I can’t hear you with all the American drones flying out of Kebri Dahar to bomb Somalia. Can you speak up?
(Fatuma continues, louder) Typical guy who interrupts a woman. Can you hear me now? Ok, back to Abiy. I was hoping he was going to continue on the love and reconciliation path and give some consideration to us “Agar” but he called us ungrateful. Has the love and reconciliation train gotten off the rails?
Dr. Newitol: Eritreans call that the “Thursday Sheep” moment: the time their president dismissed protests of disabled warriors (and by dismiss we mean shoot live bullets) and then explained: “what? Do they want us to slaughter sheep for them every Thursday.” When he was growing up uber-rich families slaughtered sheep for meet every Thursday. He said that (people are spoiled) 3 years after he came to power; but Abiy Ahmed is an overachiever: he got there in 1/3 of the time.
94. Tekle from Adi Teklay Eritrea writes: I don’t know why I am writing you because you don’t answer any questions about Eritrea. But let me try: it is a math problem. About the musicians, Eri-TV kept saying that the delegation was 60, but Ethiopian TV kept saying the delegation was 55. What happened to the 5 people?
Dr. Newitol: Nothing happened and there is no discrepancy. Eritreans were counting musicians and spies. And Ethiopia was just counting musicians. The ratio of citizens to spies in Eritrea is 12: 1 so the Math works out perfectly.
95. Solomon (Selye) from Selekhlekha, Ethiopia writes: Game over my mekemecha! Did you see how Harbeyna Weyanai was able to reconcile the irreconcilable elements of TPLF? Siye Abraha, Gebru Asrat, Aregash Kidane were all honored by the gallant Weyane and we sent an Open Letter to the Eritrean People!
Dr. Newitol: Hello, Sellye from Saleh Yehia (the real name of your town): well, good for you! It is the hallmark of excellent politics to embrace all the people who hate Eritrea and then write an Open Letter to the People of Eritrea expressing your love and affection. Well done.
96. Lionel Barber from London, UK writes: I am Lion Barber, the editor of Financial Times, also known as FT. We recently interviewed Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed and my fact checker forgot to ask a question I am hoping you will answer: there were so many “I”, “me” in that interview, is Team Lemma spelled A-B-I-Y?
Dr. Newitol: There is no “i” in “Lemma” but there is “i” in “Abiy.” There is also an “i” in “win”; “gin” “sin”, and “spin.” The spin about what he REALLY meant in that interview begins in 10…9..8….
97. Abdella from Ad Ashkeray, Eritrea writes: I have a question about Eritrean president Isaias Afwerki. Now that he has given his job to Abiy Ahmed, what does he do all day?
Dr. Newitol: He paints, he sculpts. But most of the time, he eavesdrops on his generals and when he is tired of that, he follows Eritrean twitter and facebook. He told you so in his interview of November 2018:
98. Merto Lemariam from Baso Liben, Ethiopia asks: Is Tesfaye Gebre-ebab, this terrible Eritrean who was trying to inflame war between Amhara and Oromo, really coming to Addis Abeba to promote his book about God-knows-what?
Dr. Newitol: Whoa. First he has Eritreanized his name to Tesfai. And his father’s name is Gebreab. So please use his real name. But yes, he is coming to Ethiopia to promote his new book about all the terrible things Ethiopian rulers did to Eritreans. When he, for 18+ years lived in Eritrea (2000-19), he had no observations, as a writer, of the terrible things the Eritrean government did to Eritreans. That is called patriotism.
99. Saimah from Salahlay in Somaliland asks: Every time Ethiopian leaders came to Somaliland, I get nervous. What was Ethiopia’s Abiy doing in my country? I asked my husband, who is from the UAE, but he just shrugged.
Dr. Newitol: Your, ah, region’s, ah, autonomy started a week before Eritrea’s and unlike Eritrea, you have elections and a parliament. Abiy thinks rather than trying the impossible (returning you to Somalia), he can create a confederation of Horn of Africa with its capital in Addis Abeba and its central bank in the UAE. In this confederation, you will not be part of Somalia but equal to Somalia and Eritrea: a part of confederated states of the Horn. Isn’t that swell?
100. Chilemba from Kericho, Kenya asks: What’s up with my country and Somalia and why are they recalling ambassadors? Does this have something to do with Al-Shabab or disputed territories?
Dr. Newitol: It’s Africa, so it is about disputed territories! Somalia gave some land or water for concession to the Americans for oil exploration and Kenya is upset that this happened about disputed territory. But at least, unlike El Stupidos–Eritrea and Ethiopia–they didn’t go to war over it! The funny thing is the two hot-head countries think they are superior to you!
You might also like
Leave A Reply