Q41: Abraham from Mekele: I am very curious about tall, handsome Abraham the son of Isaias Afwerki. I haven’t seen him since he represented his country to Saudi Arabia. Is he frozen already?
Dr Newitol: Abraham Isaias Afwerki? What happened to His Excellency that you mntl his name? He is visiting Mekele accompanied by General Mekele and other security officers to have a game of tourism (hunting games) in the land of Game Over. He may stop by to visit that whiny Dr Solomon Ouqbay who was complaining about his dad not visiting him, although he is his first cousin, and went all the way to Hawassa to get a coat. Repeat after me: Abraham is an army veteran: where were you when he was serving the country? In Mekele? I don’t care you were there because you are Tigrayan: the point is, he served and you didn’t.
Q42: Mogos from Kishaville asks: Dr. Newitol, I am very worried about my cousin Hagos Kisha. Every time Isaias Afwerki “reboots” he boots out the loyalists. Is my cuz going to be okay?
Dr. Newitol: It depends: was he smart enough to set up his personal 401k plan? Then that’s bad news because, well, it is bad news either way. Isaias Afwerki has upped his game and traded up and now has foreign advisors to help with (1) Finance and Economy; (2) International Relations; (3) Investment and trade; (4) Ports and Infrastructure. If you are his cousin and you are inquiring about him, you are re-enforcing the rumor-mill that he is sub-nationalist so if you love him, stop inquiring about him. It is anti-revolutionary to show concern for family members.
Q43: Curious from Georgia asks: Dr. Newitol, what can you tell us about Yemane and Osman’s visit to the United States? Usually after UN visits they hold a super special meeting with Eritrean loyalists of PFDJ. What happened?
Dr. Newitol: Yemane Gebreab left Osman Saleh in his hotel room and held a meeting with Eritrean PFDJ cadres. Due to the many enemies who still haven’t gotten the Game Over message, Yemane insisted on “no-smart-phones no recording-device” policy. The PFDJ loyalists/cadres, who still haven’t gotten the message that they have been dumped, asked a lot of questions that the opposition asks and he was not able to answer them but he smiled sheepishly and complained that “damn, the whole country is now the opposition.”
Q44: Arbegna-Neber from Addis: I recently came back for good from Norway and where I came from, nobody, regardless how popular they are, gets 99% vote. But here we are, at the EPRDF congress, and Dr. Abiy Ahmed got 99% of the vote. How is this possible?
Dr. Newitol: This African miracle is performed by choosing your electors. Prior to the EPRDF meeting, every member organization had a congress where they booted out anybody who doesn’t appear to enjoy a tall cool drink of Meddemer. Every member organization except TPLF. So, the other three organizations had electors who support Dr. Abiy. TPLF has no members who support Dr. Abiy but they knew he would win and they voted for him so they don’t appear like spoilers. Also, of the 180 votes, 3 didn’t show up because they hadn’t set their alarm clock and missed their plane. Or bus. Or whatever. So he got only 176/177 votes. There is a national hunt to determine who the one dissenter is.
Q45: Gudus from Asmara: Dr. Newitol, I know we have water shortage in Asmara but I didn’t know it was so severe that the Cabinet of Ministers would cut its meeting from two days to 4 hours. What do you think happened?
Dr. Newitol: Cabinet of What?
Q46: Mensour from Jeddah: I am pleased that my adopted country and my home country have an excellent relationship. Maybe now the Saudis could give us work permits and school permits for our children. How is the relationship going?
Dr. Newitol: It is going very good! Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman calls Isaias Afwerki every day and tells him to jump and he says how high? It is an exemplary relationship. There is also the Italian PM visiting Ethiopia and maybe Eritrea next week: maybe he will give them instructions as well: they are in very foreigners- receptive mood now.
Q47: Taddesse from Metema: Never mind about Mensour and his Arabs! How is the Eritrea-Ethiopia relationship going?
Dr. Newitol: The Isaias Afwerki-Abiy Ahmed relationship is going well, but the Ethiopia-Eritrea relationship, at the State level, is not going well, because there is no State of Eritrea, just State of Isaias Afwerki. The Ethiopian ministries have no Eritrean counterparts to work with because there are no institutions. For example, the Ethiopian Investment and Trade people came with their instructions and they were told by Eritrea’s Minister of Investment & Trade, Woldai Futur, that he has no idea what they are talking about and they should convene in two weeks when he has more information. Two weeks later, when they came to visit, they found that his office was now their embassy. They said hi to Ethiopian embassy officials and went back home. Also, congratulations are in order to Game Over’s Dr. Debretsion: after Isaias Afwerki gave the Eritrean portfolio to Dr. Abiy Ahmed (“I mean it!”), Dr. Abiy Ahmed has passed the portfolio to Dr. Debretsion at the EPRDF conference in Hawassa. Now, all Dr. Deb has to do is find another doctor to pass it on. Its like Eritrea is a patient.
Q48: Gudus From Asmara: It is me again, Dr. Newitol! You contradict yourself so there IS a cabinet of ministers. So why was the meeting so short?
Dr. Newitol: How long does it take to say, “I went to Addis, as you saw on TV. Do what your Ethiopian counterparts tell you to do. For the rest of information, wait for my upcoming interviews. Victory to the masses!”? The real question is what did they do for the rest of the 3 hours and half. They probably listened to revolutionary songs about how fearless and bold they once were.
Q49: Facebook Engineer from Menlo Park: Dr. Newitol, I see a lot of the Eritrean Facebook users have changed their profile pics to a butterfly. Is this butterfly season in Eritrea?
Dr. Newitol: Eritreans have a tendency to point out the mistakes of every people in the world without devoting a second to their failings. The butterfly is then a perfect avatar as it spreads its wings to cover a large area leaving its ass exposed.
Q50: Mahmud from Seattle: When are Eritrean prisoners going to be released?
Dr. Newitol: After Ethiopian prisoners from Eritrean prisons are released. Good news: the first one, Colonel Taddesse Muluneh got released after 8 years of disappearance but the Ethiopian media is too busy reporting on family reunifications and song covers to pay attention. Only “anti-peace” people ask tough questions about why he disappeared and why he is on wheelchairs. Accountability is anti-peace. After all, he was in jail for only 8 years, which is called “the introductory period” in Eritrean prisons. Besides, sometimes, if you spend years in the “Eritrean field” and you come back to normality, you can’t even tell reality from hallucination as Dawud Ibsa demonstrates:
Daud Ibsa, the chairperson of Oromo Liberation Front (OLF) – an opposition organization returned home from #Eritrea – refutes the narrative about his organization agreement on disarming of his organization Army. #Ethiopia – Via Walta TV pic.twitter.com/5de00R3RLS
— Addis Zeybe – አዲስ ዘይቤ (@AddisZeybe) October 6, 2018
